Lost in the House of God

At church on Sunday they asked for all the children to come to the front for a lesson. Addie didn’t give it a second thought and walked right up to the front of our BIG church. I was so proud of her! There was NO WAY I’d have done that when I was 4 - or 14 for that matter.

When the lesson was over and the children started back to their seats I watched for Addie, but she never came. I started walking around the back of the church looking down each isle for her. I found her in a matter of seconds, but to us both it seemed like an eternity. When she saw me she ran to me and burst into tears. It was the saddest cry – scared, embarrassed and relieved all at once. It broke my heart, and mommy's eyes welled up a bit too.

I realize that this is just the beginning of watching my beautiful girl be brave about something and then have it all go wrong. It’s all part of growing up.

I just read “Howe in the World’s” most recent and beautifully written blog post, (see link to the right) and it sounds like her four-year-old son knows exactly what Addie felt on Sunday. It’s hard to be four.

I remember being four. I remember gathering courage to go up to a girl at a pool party where I didn’t know anyone. I asked if I could play with her and she pointed at me and said, “Your boob is showing!” Sure enough - my swimsuit had shifted and was displaying a good portion of my undeveloped chest. It was mortifying enough to remember it 30 years later!

At four you don’t have sarcasm or the ability to laugh at yourself. All you have is open excitement, and raw rejection and crushing disappointment. Ouchy.

But that’s where parents can step in and change the story. On a separate occasion I remember how my mom helped me when a kid made fun of me at pre-school. After telling me the usual “mom” stuff, she asked me to sing his name out loud to the “Name Game” song. His name was Bart. Try it. You’ll see why that would make a little kid laugh and feel a lot better.

I just hope that I can be a comfort to my daughter whenever she feels hurt, scared, angry and disappointed. There’s nothing better than hearing her laugh.

Bart-Bart-Bo-Bart. Banana-fana-fo-fart - Yep. Still cracks me up.