I know my dad tried to keep me away from explicit movies and videos, but I just went over to friends houses and watched there. Did I turn into an ax murder? No, but I am sure it did steal my innocence and alter my interpretation of what amounts to "normal" behavior. And that was the 80's. That was when MTV showed videos, not what basically amounts to soft porn or "reality" shows of sweet sixteen birthday parties where children dress like hookers and their parents shower them with sports cars and designer gear.
It makes my heart sick, just as I'm sure it made my dad's heart sick to find his little girl listening to Prince or me plastering my walls with posters of men wearing eyeliner. Somehow my enthusiasm that Prince played all of his own instruments didn't impress my dad. Just as I'm sure my grandparents weren't impressed by Elvis' hip swivels or Jerry Lee Lewis' piano playing.
Still, it's a slippery slope. In just 50 years we've gone from where hip swinging or saying the word "pregnant" was inappropriate for TV to where you can say basically anything and see murders, drug use and sex on non-cable TV all before noon. And don't get me started on the Internet . . .
I know what all of this REALLY means. I'm a parent of a small child. I'm on the "wrong side of 35" (according to Jane Austen novels). Simply, I'm getting OLD.
See my friend from high school Misty's blog entry linked in the menu on the right about how she and her husband's favorite radio station's format was switched from easy listening to "top 40", and they can't stand it. I've always thought that top 40 radio stunk - but that's not the point.
The point is that all of this is normal. It will be OK. I need to remember that Dennis and I will have the single biggest influence on our child. Even when she's telling us she hates us for not being able to watch ax-murder movies, dress like a floozy, eat junk or whatever it is she'll end up hating us for, it will all be OK.
It will be OK. It WILL be ok. Won't it?
2 comments:
It will be OK. I've worked with a couple of people with nicer than average kids and something they have in common is that there is one TV in the house, it's in a far, dark corner of the basement and it's only connected to a VCR or DVD player.
As far a music goes, of course she'll listen to tons of music and you won't like some of it. She'll get that from being a teenager and from being your kid. It's in her DNA to like lots of kids of music. While she's little, fill her full of U2, Ella Fitzgerald and Bach. By the time she's a teenager, the horrible music she listens to will be a smaller portion of the music she knows. I know I have a soft place in my heart for John Denver and Neil Diamond because I remember listening to my mom's 8 tracks of them.
As for the computer, kids get around every block there is. As long as the computer "lives" in a public place, like the dining room or kitchen, it's harder to go to the wrong places on the internet.
The last, best advice I've heard from my older coworkers who've raised good kids is to make sure your house is the place the kids hang out. Invite them over, stock the frig, make sure there are fun things to do (that you all feel good about). If you know your kid's friends, you're at an advantage.
It may seem like the world is going to pot, but when I really think about it, I probably teach as many nice, upstanding kids as I did 15 years ago. There really are some gems out there.
Yup we're all old! Though I've heard 40 isn't old any more. 58.5 years is the new 40...
New kitchen looks great! If Dennis ever feels like a 6 month working holiday in Seattle let us know ;-)
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